Friday, 8 April 2016

Vulge and other words that ought to be words

Some words that don't exist but really ought to. 

Vulge - (n. 'vəʊldʒ) what you have before you have divulged something, a secret, a piece of gossip, innuendo, or a dreadful fact that you are keeping to yourself. "Bruce kept the vulge in his heart, until he could find someone he could trust to divulge it to." "Once Warren had divulged the secret, he found he was singularly lacking in any other vulges. He went around looking for other vulges, but no one was willing to talk to him now." 

Sjog - (v. sdʒɒg) To snog while having a jog, for instance, two Scandinavian fitness freaks kissing while still running. "Look at those two Swedes sjoging - those northern Europeans really don't have any shame do they?" 

Sponk - (n. 'spɒŋk) To have the kind of pluck, spirit, mettle or spunk that Mister Spock from Star Trek has. A kind of nerdy, Asperger's kind of attractiveness. -> Sponky - very attractive in a Mister Spock sort of way. "That Benedict Cumberbatch has got a lot of Sponk, hasn't he? He's very, very Sponky." -> Sponking - being at a bar or pickup joint and trying to use one's Sponk to pick up babes. 

Divulgent - (adj. 'daɪːvəʊldʒnt)  a conversation containing many acts of divulgence. "They had quite a divulgent conversation, at least, he ended up divulging a lot. Afterwards he realised her side of the conversation hadn't been nearly as divulgent as his." (Actually this could always be the title of the next book in the Divergent series, couldn't it?)

Devulge - (v. 'dvəʊldʒ) To devulge. To purposely leave a vulge undivulged, in case the divulgee divulges it later on someone else. (Incidentally this group of words is etymologically and logically related to vulgar - a vulgar person seldom devulges things and often divulges them.) "I wish he hadn't devulged that piece of gossip - I was really hoping to find out what it was." "Instead of telling them I decided that to devulge is better than to divulge."

Chyleof - (n. tʃiːliɒf)from anc. Welsh and Egyptian, Chyleofw, who was an Egyptian Pharaoh from the Fourth Dynasty (identified with Khulufu possibly a nephew of Sneferu). Chyleofw decided to take a short sea voyage and visited Wales by accident. After being extremely impressed by the part singing, he appropriated aspects of Welsh culture and gave himself a half-Welsh, half Egyptian name. After several thousand years of Grimm's rule being applied to successive versions of the word Chyleofw in different languages, Chyleof ended up an English word, meaning anyone who pilfers other people's culture for himself. Etymology: Chyleof, anc. Hieratic and Welsh, Chyleov, Middle Egyptian, Kyleou, Gk, Kurevulge, Latin, Ghruelvue, Old Fr. Glyreov., Angl. Sax, to Old Engl. Glyreof., Middle English, Grlyeof, Modern English, Chyleof*.  Examples:  "Sasha Barron Cohen is a real Chyleof, he keeps pilfering other people's culture." "Oh, listen, that singer is trying to sound Celtic, but the person playing it is from Australia. What a Chyleof he is." "That Robert Denethon is such a Chyleof I'm surprised anyone reads anything he's written." "Do they?"

*incidentally Chyleof is one of the few words to make it all the way round. 

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